One Step at a Time. Trust Me.

Have you ever encountered a slug on the ground? Have you just watched it move slow as possible? Quite cliché I know, but then you noticed a large amount of time had gone by without you realizing it? Yes, for you the slug hadn’t gotten very far, but to that slug it had gotten further than it was. That, is how depression works people, or at least those that are recovering from it.

One step at a time, and eventually you realize you are standing in front of a world wonder, according to you. You will wish to die every moment, if only to escape the total emptiness, or the feeling of doing something totally wrong. Just staring at nothing for a period of time. Maybe even fooling everyone around you by making them feel better will hopefully make you feel better. It doesn’t.

In order to get anywhere, you must realize, depression isn’t cliché. Just because you don’t actively think of ways to die, doesn’t mean that you are just slightly suicidal. I’ve read a few stories about how someone won’t actively seek suicide, but won’t prevent them selves from dying anyway. That, is suicidal. Be on the look out please, sometimes depression speaks up about death in jokes. “Oh when I die, I want so and so. This and that.” Please reach out to these people, even just listening helps. Look for the lack of motivation, people who worry just a little too much, who talk about money issues. Perhaps those that are far too cheerful. Robin Williams comes to mind here, one of the great comedy actors and hardly anyone knew how severe until after the fact.

Extreme anxiety can be easily explained away. Perhaps you suddenly break into a coughing spell when talking to someone, that feeling of dust in the back of your throat. What if they leave me, what if I’m too annoying. Maybe I’m just bothering them. No, you are not. The fact you would think of these is a wake up call. On the flip side things can get aggravating, just the sound of someone breathing will enrage you, your clothes will feel far too clingy, and the lights far too bright. Being aware of every thump, as the heart beats, feeling every little quake as someone walks around the house. That is sensory overload, perhaps another clue that people overlook, thinking that it only happen to them.

Prioritize, knock these worries out one by one until you don’t think in ‘what ifs’ but ‘what next.. hm’. Legitimate worries should be the first to be taken care of. If it’s bills I got a whole post for priorities right here. Above all else on that particular list, is to make sure you have enough food to last you 3 days. That’s it, three days. Then on that third day, find more food to last you three more days.

Just remember, not everything is as bleak as it seems. Sometime we must walk a long tunnel to see the light at the end. Life is unfair, for everyone to some degree. This does not justify your reasoning, it in fact should motivate you to get out of the situation.

Our current situation is not our final destination.


P.S. I had forgotten to publish this ages back. Perhaps it is incomplete, it will just have to do. It seems finished.



Have you ever felt transparent sometimes? Suddenly vulnerable, as if everyone can suddenly see right through your facades you wear to keep sane? It is a bad feeling, but it shows that there might be a problem somewhere along the line that we just can’t see ourselves. Sometimes a small hint at the right time is all it takes to feel vulnerable and naked.

I wonder sometimes if I’m not dealing with anything. I recently got a piece of paper with words on it, and it made me feel just like that.

I suppose there is only two ways to go about this, ignore it and hope it all works out in the end, or confront it ourselves and have a back up ready incase it is something we just can’t handle.

Hindsight is a horrible cruel truth isn’t it, but is it truly hindsight when we can still prevent the outcome? Can we prevent something from happening, even when it looks like nothing can be done? I don’t know, to be a little bit honest. Perhaps this is retrospect? We can still do something about our current situation, even if the outlook looks slightly bleak.

Perhaps an outside perspective is all it takes to shake the foundations of someone, finding out that you haven’t changed in years while everything around you has shifted greatly. Is that a thing? Quite possibly.

Our worse critics that can bring us down, unsurprisingly, is ourselves. All it would usually take it the right moment and the right stimuli to do so. To find out we are not as alright as we think we are. Letting our inner demons have the reigns for a moment as they stress us out with doubts and worries of What it could possibly be. Replaying moments over and over.

Then an epiphany strikes! It could be depression! The signs might be there, we just can’t see them, or choose not to. Severe anxiety perhaps? Perhaps a mental problem that is simple enough to treat. No way, it has to be guilt, maybe…

Yeah, we have these things that run through our mind in blind panics. Confrontation, even a small hint can screw us over. We lie everyday, small things to keep things rolling, the status quo, nothing to see here move on. The biggest lies though we tell to ourselves, because the truth just isn’t something we got the strength for, the determination to fess up.

The first step to fixing a problem is acknowledging that there is one. These walls we have been patching over, that horrible house that is constantly drafty, where nothing is right despite all the work done to fix it up. New wall paper, paint jobs galore, constant repairing of appliances. No, it is time to take a sledgehammer and break these crumbling walls down for good, to take it down to the foundations! Be gone and done with subpar piping, sell off and trade old appliances for good! Once we are done with that, we build anew, start over.

Of course a person just can’t do this themselves, even when they know what to do, it would take ages before the newer place is fixed. You need plumbers, electricians, perhaps an architect to help guide you through the schematics. This is not a one man job, one person might be able to do the work, but more often than not, well… they are just going to have to ask for some help at some point.

How does this short story work in our favor? Well simple, we acknowledge we have a problem, and seek help to fix it. These people help us rebuild who we are as a person. It takes more than one person to build a house in a timely manner, and these people help each other out when possible. Sure we could do this ourselves, but be ready to do it for the long haul.


Recipe Time: Spice is Life

Perhaps we covered this already, but for your sake, lets go over again yes?

So, we can cook now yes? Well, I’m sure many have skimped out on spices and herbs though, settling with just salt n pepper yeh? Well, I’m here to say, try it, you’ll thank me later.

For the baker, vanilla extract(none of that artificial stuff either), ground cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ground ginger, and possibly cloves. It might cost a pretty penny, but it will last quite a while. In order to skip out of buying most of these spices, you can also just buy pumpkin seasoning if you wish. Basic stuff can add nice flavor to stuff.

Then for other cooking, I would recommend some of the above, along with hot spices and herbs. Cayenne pepper, chili powder, paprika, oregano, thyme, rosemary,  basil, ground cumin, onion power, garlic powder, and sage. To further cut this list down you could just buy Italian seasoning, and regular chili powder.

Plain beans and rice, eh… I’d rather eat ramen if I’m a little honest. There are plenty of ways to make this better, if you prefer spicy, I’d recommend adding some cayenne pepper, paprika, chili powder, some onion powder, some garlic powder to the beans as they finish cooking. You can also add some garlic and onion powders to the rice as it boils, makes it less bland. Perhaps herbal, maybe…? Well go with oregano, thyme, rosemary, sage when cooking the rice. Add the onion and garlic powder to the beans as they cook.

Perhaps you order some pizza, mmm pizza, well… sprinkle some cayenne pepper around it can make it nice and spicy far better  than the flakes can, not saying you should forsake them, just makes it better. Fry a chicken fillet, add the spices to the mix. Dear lord I made some of THE best chicken strips EVER in my honest opinion just using some of the ingredients above. In fear of upsetting fry chicken companies it was decent (but it was also awesome at the same time, you didn’t hear that from me).

Garlic mashed potatoes, bursting with flavor roast potatoes and carrots, THE BEST EGG SANDWICH EVER, hearty stews, the list can literally go on forever with all the ingredients in the world. So why settle for bland when relatively cheap spices can be found even at the dollar store? One doesn’t have to go all out with name brand and organics (although it would help with potency), to get a nice meal.

Perhaps you have some extra herbs and spices, well, go on into the comment section (somewhere down below) and add them, along with a small example of how you’d use it. This is by no means a total list, and can be expanded as needed. I did not include liquids other than vanilla extract for instance. Also did not include sauces or the like either.


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Lets Get A Little Practical

Tell me readers, can you change a tire? Check and possibly change the motor oil? Perhaps cook a basic meal other than ramen? Balance a bank account, or even know how to get one? Yeah, they don’t quite teach these kinds of things anymore do they? Then again, our school scores are at least decent, hell I bet some of us passed flying colors, got so many awards and what not yes?

Yes, I know, we are beating the same bush over and over, but you have to realize, tests are there to see if you can follow directions, while some reading/writing tests try your imagination to a degree it isn’t much. For instance, the state test, I failed a bit because I didn’t explain my point of view, or explain the actions of a character in my own words. Honestly, with how some if not all teachers crushing creativity and imagination, it is a wonder we don’t have many artists out there.

There are of course, but the fact that you need a degree to be taken seriously is somewhat dubious. Art costs money, it costs time, and it takes dedication to get to where you want to be. I’m not saying art is the end all be all, art includes a wide variety of things, and I am using it in the broadest sense as possible.

So, let’s get a bit practical yes? We need to learn how to do some things ourselves. We are in an age of information overload, what with the internet yes? We no longer have to go in search of a master to apprentice under, to learn first hand that could take years. If we are somewhat hands on learning there are many videos out there for us to pursue, showing us a way to do something. I’m pretty sure people grumble when things start breaking down, and wearing out, and that reason is currency. When the car starts whining and screeching, that is a good sign to change something, probably a timing belt. Ok fine, you got me, it still takes a mechanic to do so, or at least someone with the knowhow, because belts are getting more complicated to change these days.

The fact that you know what the problem is though, means you don’t have to spend too much to get the problem fixed, instead of having a mechanic explain rapidly that your car is in need of major repairs and replacement parts. A scaring tactic to get you to buy more of their services, perhaps they are right on some things, but they can at least wait a few more months yes?

Perhaps you wish to eat something else besides sandwiches and ramen, well, pick up a book, or look around the internet. Recipe galore out there.

Despite what I’m saying though, start small, and work your way up from there. A thousand mile journey still begins with one step at a time, even if it is faster to hop into a vehicle, you still need to get to the vehicle.


Side note: all articles are glanced over for errors, I do not have an editor to go over every little word, so bear with me. It’s not like I’m getting paid to do this, and this is for my own entertainment to post. A writing exercise if you will.

Living: Yourself

As always, I do not know everything, some of this is research, most of it is observation and guesswork. Do your research, there are many info sites out there to help you out. For serious issues I’d recommend a bit more professional help. On with the post.

There comes a point in life, when a person just becomes apathetic to everything, no motivation to do much. Even basic human needs become neglected. To get back on your feet, is a dauntless task, and seems impossible.

Still, it is possible, all it takes is small steps at a time. Priority Number One, is you, the reader. Take care of yourself and the rest will eventually fall in place. Lets get started shall we?

Have you done the essentials today? Do these things if you haven’t, take as long as needed. Have you:
Drank anything?
Changed your clothes, your bed sheets?
Gotten 8 hours of sleep?
Talked to anyone recently?
Gone outside?

Take on this list, one at a time in whatever order you see fit. A good sleep time is usually 7-9, average we can live up to 11 days without sleep before exhaustion starts to kill us. On the flip side, oversleep can lead to many health problems later on. I understand that illness can factor in for oversleep, but the moment you sleep 10-12 hours a day is the point you might consider getting back to a 9-7 sleep cycle.

Standard hygiene, this includes: hand washing, brushing your mouth, showers, and frequent change of clothes, at least once a day. If you want a good example of what poor hygiene does look at history, there have been many outbreaks of disease and what not. Getting a cut or any wound usually means infection unless covered asap, in many conflicts leading up to and past WWII infection was an army killer. Getting bitten was pretty much a permanent maiming usually with the loss of limbs or life if left untreated way back then.

Also, hygiene helps us socialize more, doing so by increasing our self-confidence as well as how others perceive us. Look at victims of natural disasters, when given the chance to wash clothes, use hot showers, they look so joyous yes? That is the power of good hygiene, you don’t quite realize what you’re missing until its gone

I give it about 3 weeks before lack of food kills you, or at least when your body starts shutting down. Somewhere about then the bacteria and what not begin to eat you alive. So, please remember to eat yes? Even one good meal a day, or small snacks throughout the day will be sufficient.

Three-four days without water can kill you though depending on the environment, the hotter the faster, the colder the longer. “Recommended” amount is 8×8 ounces of water throughout the day. Lack of water is bad, but ‘too’ much in a short period of time is just as bad, the delicate balance of minerals and what not in the body drops.

Lets go for a quick walk yes? Well, at least get outside for a bit. How long is entirely up to you as long as you promise to spend at least 10 minutes in the sun. It will help clear that pasty grey tone skin. The fresh air is a good thing too I suppose.

Take care of yourself, because apparently no one else will, and once you do that, you will realize everyone was worried about you. Your little quirks that slowly vanished, things that let them know you were happy once. Perhaps that little tune you used to sing under your breath went silent, your jokes had turned crude and mean. I don’t know, but someone out there is missing that about you. Where’s the greens, yellows, all those bright colors you used to wear? Remember the hang out spot? Where you had gotten together for a fun time, yeah they’re waiting for you somewhere out there.

Find people to be with, even if it is just one person. We humans are social creatures you know, even a hermit like me gets out now and then.


Life: Relationship tips.

Disclaimer: I have never been in a relationship, or at least a romantic one. So, take anything here with a spoon of salt, a grain doesn’t seem to cut it for this one I say. Also to note, there will be some vulgar language. Vulgar being defined as anything you may be offended by, not just swearing. This is just some outsider views. On with the post, yes?

Yes, as nice as it is to be in a relationship, you must remember Trust is a two way street, as trusting as you may be, they will always be suspicious of the most strangest things. There is a fine line between minor insecurity, and full on self-sabotage. Fighting to find things that  aren’t even there, trying to justify yourself for no crimes committed. You must trust, and be trusted. The moment you start questioning how things are, is the moment you need to really ask, and confront. This is not the time to be the FBI or the NSA. Then again it doesn’t help to be passive about things either. Take charge, step up, and know when to back down and away. Space is just as important, it is just fine for your partner to go out for a night to hang and chill with friends without you.

They’ve survived so far without you in their life before, and probably need to socialize a bit. The moment one of you become possessive is the moment one of you need to take a step back. Honestly, take a step back and reason through why one of you feel this way.

Also, as you(the male?) have needs, so does she. It may be crossing a line perhaps, but she will thank you later on this one. Keep track of any feminine products she uses, be it lotion, lip balm, pads and tampons, so on. Just on the off chance that she is looking around for some or in a bind, you always have her back. This also goes for homosexual relationships as well. Just as each star is different, so are people.

This is a real life relationship, any and all stuff you have thought it would be, discard them at once. Preconceived notions of what should be in a relationship can easily destroy one. This is not some novel or romance flick. This is the twenty-first century people, the chivalry your parents and grandparents had has changed, roles have reversed and have been updated as it should to fit this current generation. By all means observe and take what you want/need from any older relationships, just note that it isn’t the way your life will be written. While it may be romantic that your parents met at a beach, and got married at the same beach later, getting married in a starbucks or some other random place is not quite romantic you know, since these are slowly becoming common meeting places.

With that piece of advice, we shall move on.

I’ve known many people who do NOT go good together for long periods of time, and have since moved apart. Yet talking to them, asking them if they’ve moved on (please don’t do this, as it is very invasive, by all means though listen and be patient if they start it) they have not. Amazing isn’t it? Some people are so in love with each other, but just can’t stand long doses of each other. Going further with this, you don’t necessarily have to be married to be considered husband and wife, or mother and father. Just know, you will have to explain to your children why it is like this eventually. This can impact their growth, and their future views on relationships.

What may be healthy for you may not be for others.

Periods, it is biological, don’t make a big deal on things that are out of anyone’s control. If things don’t seem right, perhaps she is agitated, do NOT ask about the subject. It is crude, stereotypical, and makes you look like an ass to the nth degree. You are in a self-built buddy system, back to back taking on the world you know? You wouldn’t seriously make fun of a buddy who is dealing with some shit now would you? Take note everyone, that anyone can have problems, and it is your duty to at least make an effort to help some.

Consent doesn’t end when you start a relationship, as a matter of fact it should be a given you know. Being in a relationship does not entitle you to sex anytime you or them want it. No, still means No, especially in a relationship! Even though some courts think otherwise, it is still rape if you don’t want it. Wifely duties shouldn’t be a thing you know, they are not servants sent to do your bidding, to bend to every whim. No, as stated earlier, this is a built in buddy system, you watch their back as they watch yours. No means No, remember this. The both of you are partners now, act like it. The moment you think about manipulating the situation is the moment you should step back, and think about what you are about to do.

People seem to forget basic human rights when it comes to relationships. Everyone is entitled to some privacy, some time alone. Sharing every little piece of each other is all fine and dandy, but the fact you or them feel the need to know EVERYTHING is the wrong way to go about it. A willing partner is far better than a reluctant one.

Have we learned anything new? Probably not, as a matter of fact this seems like a broken record that people just tune out. I hope whoever reads this takes the time to sit down and think about their relationship and improve it somehow. If that means breaking it off, well, that’s your call.


Leave a comment on what you think, and if you have anything to add, I’ll find a way to sneak it in a future post.

Living: Home

Ok, so we covered Bills, some of the vehicle, and some food skills. Lets get to our next topic, Home. Supposedly this is where the heart is, and I’m kinda inclined to believe that.

Remember this, even if you must make a plaque for it, repeat after me: “A Tidy Home, Is A Tidy Mind”

This can possibly be done in a single day. Or you can draw it all out one day per room until you eventually get a nice habit and routine going. I don’t claim to know everything, and this here post is just flying through the keyboard. For some reason the ‘life skills/hacks’ won’t leave me alone lately, so bear with me.

Start with your sleeping area. if this is also your living area then so be it. Clothes go into their assigned piles. Clutter gets sorted: garbage, keep, storage, charity. Any and all cutlery such as plates, bowls, cups, knifes, forks spoons go to the kitchen area to be washed and sorted later. Any used disposable cutlery go in the garbage. any unused are to be set aside to be used. I don’t know about you, but unless you’re not going to use it RIGHT AWAY there is no need to keep those 4 plastic utensils. They are generally 2-4 uses for the moment.

Make the bed, set it up for the next time you sleep. sweep off any crumbs, debris, and what not. Sheets should be flat. The pillow(s) in an orderly fashion. And the blanket/comforter ready to use, be it folded neatly at the end, or covered hotel style, I don’t know, just ready for use instead of clumped together.

Paperwork, find a place to put it, in a neat pile. Don’t read it just yet, just make sure its in a neat pile somewhere out-of-the-way.

Clean the floors, big and small stuff that can’t be swept are to be set aside to sort. Sweep, vacuum, mop if applicable the floors. Done. Repeat as needed for other rooms. (for those who rent/own a house but no one to share it.)

Next is the bathroom. Anything that doesn’t belong is to be set aside somewhere it does. Anything older than a month that you hardly use is to be replaced or tossed. Immediately by the sink should be: Soap, Toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving equipment(razor, shaving cream, aftershave). That’s it. Anything else needs to be sorted through, and put away in an orderly fashion. There is a reason you bought a make up bag, why there might be a cabinet behind the mirror. Let me tell you, that is a poor place for medicine, it is a humid environment, and could spoil the medicines quickly.

Hair ties, clips, bobby pins, where do I put such things? Ziplocks. Is is glamorous? nope, but it works. If you must go fancy by all means do so. Just remember to use these devices yes? Why spend $50+ on a bag for something so frivolous I’ll never now.

Electronics should be put in a dry place after use, go buy a tub/bin with a lid to set aside, even a cardboard box with a towel over it could work. You could electrocute yourself, you could even damage the device by letting it slip into the draining tub/sink. So please, take care of such electronics.

Wipe down the shower/bath regularly, perhaps even semi-immediately after use. Clean the drain of hair, get a drain strainer if you must. You do not want to call a plumber only to have him pull out giant wads of hair now do you? That stuff will put your pets to shame.

Get a suction cup shower basket, if you have one, then sort it out! Anything you don’t use regularly put aside somewhere else. Basics: Shampoo, conditioner, body wash (soap, liquid wash, whatever). Any specialized stuff use when needed as needed. Nothing worse than reaching for that special hair care stuff and grabbing the body wash or lotion.

Keep the bathroom swept and mopped. You just got done getting cleaned, you don’t need your feet getting dirty directly afterward yes?

Living area should be swept and orderly. remember to… tape down the furniture? for pet hairs (if applicable). Paperwork again, goes into the neat pile to be sorted later. If applicable vacuum/mop the floors regularly. Dust now and then, perhaps once a week. Any and all dishes/utensils are to be put in the kitchen to be washed and sorted. Used plastic/paper/Styrofoam is to be tossed. any unused to be sorted to be used eventually.

Kitchen area time. Any pointless cardboard such as can holders, soda boxes, used packaging, plastic wraps, so on goes in the garbage. Dishes are to be washed, I’d recommend doing plates first, bowls, utensils, then cookware.

The counters and oven are to be sterilized, and organized. Cans in their areas as follows: Fruits on one side somewhere, veggies on the other, fast meal cans/boxes in another area, baking stuff. Pots and pans are to be sorted somewhere in an orderly fashion. dishes in an easy reach area, utensils in a drawer or sorter. Any dish left out without a purpose, can turn into an avalanche of dishes eventually.

Keep the floors swept and mopped. Now and then, at least once a month, try to get the coils on the fridge cleaned off. It will help keep the thing cool and in working order.

Remember, one thing at a time, eventually this will be a force of habit, and one less thing on your mind. Simple generalized orders. I did not say move all the furniture around, dig around all the corners, or wipe down the windows. However, doesn’t it feel good, looking around a tidy place? Yes, I know, children can turn simple chores into a nightmare, but there are quite a few exceptions on the constant war between tidy and children.

if you have anything to say, please do so. These help my improve, as

Repeat after me. A Tidy Home, Is a Tidy Mind -Kenneth